An iPhone for each hand

DON’T BE CAUGHT EMPTY-HANDED: Only six weeks to go before the expected unveiling of the iPhone 5, and this item from The Onion speaks to consumer passion for the little gizmo from Apple: “As part of an effort to boost smartphone sales following lower-than-expected third-quarter earnings, Apple announced today a new national advertising campaign urging users to buy a second iPhone for their other hand. ‘Imagine having Safari, FaceTime and Siri in both of your hands at the same time,’ Apple CEO Tim Cook said in a press release for the new campaign, which will debut Friday night during the Olympic opening ceremonies with the slogan ‘Need an extra hand with that?’ ‘On the one hand—quite literally—you're texting a friend, and on the other, you're hitting up Siri for the nearest pizza joint. With that second phone, iPhone users will truly have the power of the Internet at their fingertips—all 10 of them. This is the wave of the future right here.’ At press time, Apple reported that iPhone sales for the day had passed the 600,000-order mark.” (7/31a)