I.B. BAD ON THE PHENOMENON OF FAILING UPWARD

Already demoralized and stretched paper thin, the Warner Music Group staff is now also outraged following the news of the money Edgar Bronfman Jr. and Lyor Cohen are raking in as they systematically dismantle the once-celebrated company.

WMG staffers find it laughable that Bronfman’s 2007 take was “reduced” to a mere $3.42 million by his private-equity overlords, while Cohen took home a mind-boggling $4.47 million as a reward for his own ongoing ineptitude. What’s more, both Bronfman and Cohen were re-upped for another year, thanks to automatic one-year-term extensions built into their deals.

In recent weeks, the dysfunctional duo have been trumpeting WMG’s 20% overall marketshare—and this despite their amply demonstrated inability to throw a rock into the ocean. Insiders explain that they’ve increased the company’s piece of the pie at the expense of profitability by overpaying for acquisitions such as Roadrunner, which moved the sales of cash cow Nickelback to Atlantic’s ledger sheet, although the pickup of Bad Boy (a.k.a. Cohen’s Folly) obviously failed to have the desired effect.

Some believe that this marketshare bump, along with Josh Groban’s surprise seasonal smash and that equally surprising "buy" rating issued on Jan. 11 by Merrill Lynch’s Jessica Reif Cohen, were the reasons WMG shares have climbed from an all-time low of $4.57 set on Jan. 9 to north of $7 in the ensuing three weeks. Others claim there’s something more sinister behind it.

What was especially odd about the turnaround is that it occurred even as the NYSE was getting hammered over growing fears of a recession, causing some to joke that Bronfman and Cohen have mismanaged Warner to the point that it is now recession-proof.