IVANA FACES UP TO THE REALITY OF IT ALL

ALL DOWNHILL FROM HERE
My boss calls reality TV "sports for girls," and of course I have my "team favorites," whether it’s Shandi on America’s Next Top Model (which may be the best show in the history of television) or Troy on The Apprentice. There’s also the superiority factor for me, as I measure my own life against those of the "real" people on TV. It isn’t lost on me that the hours upon hours I spend glued to these shows renders me way more pathetic than even the screechy girl with the fake nails on Average Joe: Adam Returns.

I’m aware that my "TSW" (time spent watching) could be consumed with loftier pursuits, such as learning how to turn on my oven or translating Springsteen lyrics into Latin (as I did with Greetings From Asbury Park when I was 14). The escapist aspect of reality TV is the anticipation of how supposedly "real" people will respond to manufactured circumstances, thereby rendering it unreal, of course. The added "twists" further removes any control the reality TV participant might have, but they are all willing parties, right?

As our friends at the Warner Music Group, Arista, RCA Music Group and other major music companies are keenly aware, when real life begins to resemble television, the fun stops. Those at Elektra and Atlantic whose fates are still undetermined equate the past few months to a hybrid of Survivor-meets-The Bachelor, where their ability to impress a virtual stranger may or may not have an impact on whether they will receive that proverbial rose, allowing them to finally exhale and focus on the work ahead. How do you respond to the career version of "It’s not you, it’s me?"

Many promo aces, new to the burgeoning ranks of the recently unemployed, are developing a solid business "quarterbacking" records for labels. I believe Virgin’s Steve Leeds is the first to utilize the artist to work her own record, as Courtney Love spent the past week in his office, calling radio on behalf of "Hold on to Me." Whatever she said, and however she said it, was compelling enough to make the song #1 Most Added at PoMo this week, including WBCN, KEDJ, WWDC, WEDG (would’ve loved to have heard that conversation), WXTM, WJBX, WWCD, WFNX, KZON, KKND, KRBZ and more. There is no truth to the rumor that if the "Rock Star" thing doesn’t pan out for Courtney she’ll be joining JMA.

I was hanging with Virginaire Jenni Sperandeo and oh-so-awesome-band The Thrills at last week’s N.E.R.D. show. Talk about rock star—Pharell is a superstar on every level. What surprised me was how the audience was so, well, "KROQ." The new N.E.R.D. bowed at over 100k this week—the kids like ’em, they really, really like ’em!

I like to think I know what music matters to the PoMo audience (even as I load my iPod with orchestral Brit-pop and ’70s prog), especially when it’s spelled out for me: MTV "Big 10" plus gold sales plus sold-out shows equals Yellowcard’s "Ocean Avenue." Capitol’s Ted Volk defied PoMo conventional wisdom (youth appeal rock bands equals ratings death equals no more beer money for you) by landing K-Rock NY and 99X Atlanta on Yellowcard this week! I guess, with most PoMo stations’ ratings in the toilet anyway, there isn’t much downside risk to playing a band that is SELLING. K-Rock also added the new New Found Glory single, "All Downhill From Here," this week, which may herald a trend towards supporting bands with a history at the format. Or maybe I’m just reading too much into it, as usual.

Although it took Jive’s Lorraine Caruso nearly three trimesters for her and Joanne Grand to break Three Days Grace’s "I Hate Everything About You," delivering the new single, "Just Like You," was nearly instantaneous, with a plethora of PoMo majors weighing in this week. For once in your argumentative life, don’t overthink a hit record.

Congrats to Lynn McDonnell for her spectacular week on the Von Bondies’ "C’mon, C’mon," and also for breathing new life into the absolutely genius Living End single, "Who’s Gonna Save Us," with new adds at Q101, KCNL and WHRL.

Epic’s Modest Mouse just had three beyond sold-out shows in L.A. (it’s a hot ticket when pals at other labels are begging ME to be my "plus one"), with J.J. and Margie (and some guy named Joel) spreading the story with new adds on "Float On" from CIMX, WDYL and WAVF. Incubus’ "Talk Shows on Mute" was Most Added this week, while Audioslave solidifies their standing as PoMo gods with the new single, "What You Are." I couldn’t be happier that my trip to NYC this week for Passover just "happens" to coincide with Phantom Planet’s show at Irving Plaza Friday night. Those who are sticking with "Big Brat" understand this band’s current popularity, but also their potential to be one of the biggest bands on any planet, phantom or otherwise. Ask Jim McGuinn.

We hail WB’s Rob Goldklang and Heather Luke for reeling in 99X, WEND, KBZT, WRZX, WRZK and KTZO on the brilliant Muse single, "Time is Running Out." I can’t wait to see them at Coachella!… It was just announced the Morrissey and the Flaming Lips are headlining Lollapalooza. Talk about artists whose storied careers have evolved until now, when they’re creating their best work ever. I’m obsessed with this new Morrissey single, "Irish Blood, English Heart," as are the KROQ listeners who have voted it #1 on the "Furious Five at Nine" since the station began playing it. WBCN, WWCD, WFNX and KMBY were among those who couldn’t fathom waiting another second to add this song. How right they are.

SONG TO HEAR: Air’s "Surfin’ on a Rocket"

PEOPLE TO WATCH: Bill Carroll, Ron Poore, Bonnie Slifkin, Mike DiPippa, Kris Metzdorf, Buddy Deal, Lisa Michelson, Larry Max, Kevin Mays, Bob Waugh and Chris Woltman.