THE HOLLYWOOD WEAKEND PLANNER OF LOS ANGELES
IS IN THE FIGHT OF ITS LIFE

If you’re an Angels fan, you’re biting your nails right now as the A’s stay hot. If you’re a Dodgers fan like Je-C, we pity you. It’s obvious that baseball is no longer America’s pastime when the week’s big sports stories involve Larry Brown accepting the Knicks job and the opening of the NFL camps. In a week or two, there will be something approximating football on TV. That may not be exactly riveting, but it beats the hell out of watching the Dodgers play something approximating baseball. Ah, the joys of summer.

CALENDAR
Friday, July 29
4:00pm
Street Scene: San Diego’s where the party's at this weekend. Featuring 38 bands, including The Killers, Spoon, The White Stripes, The Pixies, Black Eyed Peas, Flaming Lips, Snoop Dogg and more. Goes 4pm-12am, Sat. too. @ Qualcomm Stadium. Info: www.street-scene.com

4:30pm
The Seventh Annual Del Close Marathon @ the UCB Theatre in NYC: 150+ shows running all weekend. Improv groups from NY, Chicago, Boston, Toronto etc gather to show their stuff. 307 W. 26^th St. btwn. 8^th/9^th Aves. For ticket/schedule info: www.ucbtheatre.com

7:00pm
The Aristocrats: I’ve been waitin’ on this movie, and here’s a warning, it ain’t for the weak. The Aristocrats, thought to be the dirtiest joke ever, is one that’s been around since Vaudeville. It’s not really performed in the clubs; it’s more an insider joke between comics. The joke, frankly & amusingly, isn’t even that good. In this film, 100+ of the best comics around perform their interpretation of this very joke. I hear it gets outright disgusting. And that, makes me very, very happy. Featuring George Carlin, Whoopi Goldberg, Jason Alexander, Eddie Izzard, Sarah Silverman, Eric Idle, Chris Rock, Drew Carey, Phyllis Diller & so many more.

7:30pm
Hustle & Flow: If you have yet to see this movie, you are missing out. The performances are amazing and the story is so on point. Even if you aren’t into hip-hop and rap, you will still appreciate this film because it shows how hard it is to make it in the music world.

7:40pm
Cardinals vs. Dodgers at Chavez Ravine: This series will determine if the Dodgers are really going to make a trade and contend in the NL West.

8:00pm
Andy Kindler w/House Husband: the new UCB Theatre in L.A. has quickly booked a ton of great names/shows. Tonite Kindler appears w/Jason Nash. Tix: $5. @ The UCB Theatre. 5919 Franklin Ave., across from the Celebrity Centre, baby. Info: www.ucbtheatre.com

8:00pm
Destiny’s Child at Madison Square Garden.

10:00pm
Nobu Fifty-Seven: New midtown local is open for luscious sushi. We’re sendin’ ya a bit late, ‘cause you know reservations are gonna be tough to swing. We could get in, though. We haven’t spoken to our parents in 15 years. But we can get in places. So … that’s cool … 40 W. 57^th St., btwn Fifth/Sixth Aves., 212-757-3000

Saturday, July 30
7:00am
Fish Tossing: Fulton Fish Market has been at South Street Seaport for 184 years. Now they’re moving to the Bronx. Those fish are gonna get raped, or learn to krump. Either way, roll down to the Seaport one last time to watch fish-tossing action (which up till now you thought meant something else entirely, right?) before that shit moves uptown.

8:30am
Long Beach Dragon Boat Festival: 120+ teams race in this ancient sport in a waterway transformed to look like a 2,000 year old Southern Chinese river. The boats are cool, thin & long w/a dragon’s head at one end and a drummer up front who keeps the beat for the 20 rowers onboard. There’s also a mini-cultural festival. Today & tomorrow @ 5255 Paoli Way, Long Beach. Info: www.lbdragonboat.com

11:45am
Rock the Bells Concert in San Bernardino @ the Nos Events Center: Some of the artists include, Living Legends, Hieroglyphics, Redman, Ghostface Killah, Cuban Linx, Nas, Guru and more.

12:00pm
www.ladwp.com: Wanna green up your yard a bit? If you complete an hour-long workshop, you can get up to seven deciduous or evergreen trees delivered to your doorstep for free. It’s DWP’s Trees for a Green L.A. program. Nope, no marijuana plants for your medicinal needs.

1:00pm
www.bicyclekitchen.com: Fed up with your bicycle being broken? Take it to this community workspace where you can either bring it back to life or donate it and look for another. 706 Heliotrope Dr. @ Melrose Ave.

1:10pm
Cardinals vs. Dodgers at Chavez Ravine

3:30pm
Broadway Barks at Shubert Alley: This year, Delta Burke, Billy Crudup, Harvey Fierstein, Jeff Goldblum, Bill Irwin, Rue McClanahan, Denis O'Hare, David Hyde Pierce, Ron Rifkin, Frances Sternhagen and Jeffrey Tambor will be their with their dogs to help the fundraiser. 45th St. between Broadway and 8th Ave.

7:30pm
California Philharmonic’s Movie Music Night: Featuring themes from Saving Private Ryan, Gone With The Wind, more. @ Los Angeles County Aboretum & Botanic Garden
310 N. Baldwin Ave., Arcadia.

8:00pm
Dead 60s: British band w/hot single “Riot Radio” rocks it at The Troubadour with Hi-Fi and Morningwood. Check w/venue for times. 9081 Santa Monica Blvd, WeHo, 310-276-6168.

Sunday, July 31
11:00am
www.artistsroom.com: Wanna try your hand at being an artist? Gee, no one’s ever done that before. Sorry, we won’t judge, we’ll guide. Check this site out. They sell kits for budding muralists where you can pick your pattern, transfer it to a wall & trace the image. They’ve even got some kinda idiot-proof painting system, too.

1:10pm
Cardinals vs. Dodgers: Concluding game of the three-game series.

6:00pm
Half Bottle & Half Plate @ the Belvedere, The Peninsula, Beverly Hills: Kick it on the patio for good wine and gourmet snacks. Goes till 10:30pm. 9882 Santa Monica Blvd (btwn. Lasky Dr./Charleville Blvd., 310-788-2306.

7:00pm
D.E.B.S.: Such a fun movie. Plaid-skirt-clad schoolgirls are groomed by a secret government agency to become part of an elite national defense agency (D.E.B.S.) Nothin’ wrong with that. Oh, and there’s super-strong funny dialogue and one of the better twists within the premise for a flick I’ve seen in a while. Stars Jordana Brewster, Sara Foster, Michael Clarke Duncan and Holland Taylor.

8:00pm
Asia @ House of Blues on Sunset: Remember “Heat of the Moment”? Well, 20 years later, here comes new tunes & a new lineup. Check w/venue for times. (323) 848-5100.

JE-C’S NEW-MOVIE RUNDOWN
Stealth
Starring: Josh Lucas, Jessica Biel, Jamie Foxx, Sam Shepard, Joe Morton, Richard Roxburgh, Ian Bliss, Megan Gale and Ebon Moss-Bachrach
Synopsis: Three elite pilots take to the skies to defeat their toughest adversary yet: an artificially intelligent drone fighter that's gone totally nuts after being hit by lightning. The robo-jet's turned against its inventors, and if it's not brought down ASAP, it'll start a nuclear war.
Thoughts: I’ve been waiting for this movie for a while. There have been some good summer movies and some big disappointments, but I’m thinking this one is going to be really good.

Must Love Dogs
Starring: Diane Lane, John Cusack, Elizabeth Perkins, Christopher Plummer, Stockard Channing, and Dermot Mulroney
Synopsis: After a bad breakup, Sarah Hurlihy swears off men, but her family keeps pushing her back into the dating scene. Her sister puts Sarah's profile on a dating website, saying that all respondents "must love dogs." But wait — Sarah doesn't even have a dog herself! When a hot dog-owner replies, Sarah borrows her bro's canine to cover up the lie.
Thoughts: I saw a sneak preview of this movie last week and I must say I enjoyed it. It’s one of the better romantic comedies I’ve seen.