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FIVE QUESTIONS FOR CHRISTINA NORMAN—PLUS BONUS ROUND

Recently Appointed MTV Chairman Fields Some Probing Queries From Our Resident Morons About Her First Year in Charge of the VMAs
The Video Music Awards are this Sunday, and we managed to catch up with MTV honcha Christina Norman just as she was putting the finishing touches on the big bash and trying on Prada rain gear. Take it away, Madam Chairman.

1. We hear there's going to be a lot of water on the show this year. What's your preference, one-piece or two-piece, and why?
A. Probably a no-piece. Have you been to Miami in August.

2. Will you be arriving at the venues by limo, yacht, helicopter or chopper?
A. Tandem parachute with Diddy.

3. Is it true that you're considering adopting Triumph the Insult Comic Dog?
A. I was, until he called me a bitch.

4. The biggest difference between VH1 and MTV is…?
A. No more beseeching voicemail from Kenny Loggins.

5. We're starting a petition to bring back Beavis and Butt-head. Who should we send it to?
A. Cornholio. And copy Van.

6. You’re on a role, Christina. Considering the candor of your answers so far, we’re gonna break tradition and ask the REALLY important question. Who's a better kisser, Tommy Lee or Tommy Freston?
A. Ask Pamela. Oops. Was that out loud? Sorry, Freston.