STILL GOD AFTER ALL
THESE YEARS

A mere week after '70s icons Aerosmith debuted at #2, and just months after the Beatles' mindboggling 21^st century chart domination, yet another blast from the past has proven his continuing commercial relevance.

"He's still got it," gurgled the mere Jerry Suarez of Valley Media. Of course, Jerry was actually referring to the great Al Martino, but we'll happily manipulate his quote to apply to Reprise's Eric Clapton, whose latest offering, "Reptile," made an impressive debut at #4 this week.

"We're seeing this one sell to many demographics," said Suarez, just before succumbing to the "rolling blackouts" in his brain. "This is an artist who transcends formats and musical trends."

Before lulling us to sleep with further discourse, Jerry correctly pointed out a solid #10 debut from Blackground/Virgin's Tank and a #17 bow for Warner Bros.' Jaheim.

"From what I hear, it's all part of this newfangled rap and R&B music that the kids are into these days," said the Jer-man before renewing his subscription to Record World.

Besides, Eric in the fourth slot, this week's Top Five has a familiar feel, with MCA's Shaggy grabbing the top slot back from RCA's Dave Matthews Band, which slips to #2. Columbia's Aerosmith finishes a strong second week at #3, while Arista's Dido continues its amazing run at #5.

Next week chart will feature bows by Bad Boy/Arista's 112 and Epic's Jon B.

Meanwhile, in an effort to relate to what the readers of this story are feeling, its underpaid writer impaled himself on a butter knife. Ouch, that hurts.