COMING THIS WEEK: BROTHERLY LOVE. ALSO: LIBERAL-BASHING

Unlike this week's well-choreographed and predictable Republican convention, where Bush and Dick will officially consummate their union, the upcoming events in the music industry are anything but certain.

THE ALBUM CHART: As of Monday morning it was Nelly's "Country Grammar" grabbing the top spot, though both "Now 4" and young Britney were still making a serious play. Hey, compared to what's happening in Philadelphia, this contest is like taking some primo pharmaceutical speed. Party on, George.

TOP 40: You know it's a new century when the new single from 98 looks like it will edge out the new single from Madonna in the battle for Most Added honors. Hmmm, perhaps she needs a Disney special. Also look for Fastball to strike a chord with the Top 40 Einsteins responsible for helping to define our nation's cultural boundaries. Eeeeesh.

POST MODERN: Good reaction this week to the first releases from upcoming albums from Zebrahead and Good Charlotte. Or is that Good Zebra and… oh, nevermind.

AND OF COURSE… Napster, MP3.com, more Napster, more MP3.com and 345,897 online companies trying to convince the four venture capitalists with any money left that THEY are the ones who will revolutionize the music industry. Dotcom, dotcom, dotcom, kiddies.